A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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