break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
