ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
