Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need a beard to bite.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
