I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
