There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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