Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
