I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
