Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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