Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
