I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
