im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
