He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
