Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
