He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
