but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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