Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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