dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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