I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
