dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
