garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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