his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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