great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
