the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
