marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
