someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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