That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
