Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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