I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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