shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
