I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
