is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
