The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
