I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
