It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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