I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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