I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
