In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
