i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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