I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
