if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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