dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
