I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
