No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
