Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They have beer where we have blood.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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