Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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