I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
