I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
