mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Nicole vs. Life
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
