Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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