chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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