If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
