I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
