That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she looked like the before picture.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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