thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
