ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
