Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What drink are we having for lunch?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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