The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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