Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
